Does having the sex talk with your teen or parent influence the decision to be sexually active?

Hello again. Sorry to keep you all waiting for the next blog! To complete this blog I conducted a survey to get multiple points of view on this issue of the “sex talk”. For the readers that did fill out a survey for me, your help was much appreciated! The age groups I targeted in my survey were the following: grandparent’s generation, parents’ generation, and the teen generation. One would think that people of the same generation would have similar answers and each generation’s answer would greatly differ from each other. However, I found this to not be the case. People of different generations are not always as different as we would sometimes like to believe.

            From my survey, I heard a broad spectrum of answers to my question “does having the sex talk with your teen or parent influence the decision to be sexually active?” Answers range from “I believe it does, communication is so important” to “it doesn’t, if a teen wants to have sex, what their parents say won’t change that”, and many in between. The main theme I noticed from those who said it did indeed influence their children’s choices was the idea that all a parent can do is educate their teen about the consequences and make sure they have the resources to protect themselves.  From those who said they didn’t believe it influenced their teen’s decisions, the main theme I noticed was ‘a teen will do what they want’. Which I feel is a negative way to approach things.

            Some things I noticed in doing this survey is that those who said talking doesn’t influence behavior, or were more negative about the topic, were not just people of our parent’s generation but people from our own generation as well. Which is interesting, one might think that all teens would feel the same due to current cultural perception of tension in a stereotypical teen-parent relationship. However, more teens felt that it did influence their decision through positive education and an open environment in which to discuss it. Other teens talked about how they are glad they had the talk because their friends didn’t, or they wish they would have had the talk with their parents and it would have influenced their decision. Many talked about their parents telling them ‘not until marriage’ ad that was all they got or how much they talked about how negative it is without saying why exactly.

            With the parent’s generation, not all parents felt that their teens wouldn’t listen to them; the number of people that felt it would help them make the right decision was impressive. There were also parents who talked about both sides of the situation. On one hand they really hope their teen makes the right decision, on the other hand they feel that if it is something the teen really wants to do they will do it but the parent may still have some influences on decision making.

            With the grandparent’s generation, few answered that teens will do what they want or expressed a negative view of the situation. Instead, most felt that education is the best thing for teens and hope they have the resources to make decisions wisely. This was interesting as there is an even greater public perception of an existing tension in a stereotypical teen-grandparent relationship.

            Now you may all be thinking “what is her opinion on the subject?” My opinion is that teens are often misunderstood, educating them on the subject thoroughly on issues such as protection, risks, etc. is the best thing a parent can do. I feel that if they continue to tell the teen how negative and bad it is there will be a more negative outcome. 

Talking to your parents about sex, relationships, and the everyday pressures of being a teen.

               Sex seems to be the thing everyone is talking about, from 6^th graders to older people (such as your grandparents) of both sexes and all sexualities. It’s all over in popular television shows and all over the internet. So naturally one would be safe to assume that it’s just a part of everyday life and society is comfortable with it… Wrong! I have friends who still get uncomfortable if the topic of sex is even slightly mentioned or hinted at. Why is it so weird? Well as I said previously I am going to be a senior in high school and those friends are my age. Those who attend church regularly learn, don’t have sex until you get married. This is a perfectly reasonable idea; however it doesn’t always work out that way. Before you decide to learn through “doing” with sex, ASK your parents. Now I am sure that it may be just as awkward for your parents to give you the sex talk as it is for you (the tween/teen) to receive it. However, it’s important to have it. I know some parents who are very blunt about the topic of sex. They tell their children what they expect out of them when it comes to sex. Such as “wait until marriage”, or “I really don’t want you to be having sex; however if you do please come to me so we can properly protect you against pregnancies/STI’s”.

               Now I know you may or may not be thinking, “yawn”, heard this a million times. But the reason for that is because it’s important. The more you (the teen/tween) talk to your parents about sex, the less uncomfortable it is when hinted at in a movie or the topic being brought up with friends. Just because you’re talking about the topic of sex, doesn’t mean you’re having it! Or even planning on having sex! That’s the big picture that people tend to miss.

Hello all.

Hello, my name is Amanda and I will be taking over the reveal for real blog. To start off, I would like to tell you about myself. I am a senior at Renaissance High School here in Meridian. After high school and undergraduate college, I plan to go onto med school and become an OB/GYN. Due to my interest in reproductive health; I plan to spend the summer volunteering here at the health department.

In my blog, I hope to reach young teens (such as myself) and young adults. I hope to educate that group on reproductive health and talk about issues you want to learn and discuss about.

Final Good Bye

Dear Audience,

Thank you for your time to take a look at my blog. I hope this was useful to you. I’m graduating on the 16^th of May, this is my last day today. It has been fun to write these blogs for your concern. I will not be here, but if you have questions you could ask the Central Health District at Reveal for Real. I wish you best of luck.

Thank You

Healthy Relationships

From my own experience and from my friends most of them don’t really know what a healthy relationship looks like, even when they are in a relationship they still don’t know what a healthy relationship is like. When talking to my friends they would say they wish they would have known what a healthy relationship was before having one. Here are some tips to help you in relationship in future and present.

One thing to make sure of when you are in a relationship is both you and your partner have respect for each other. A good sign of, respect is honoring each other’s boundaries. For example, if your partner saying we are going too fast, a way you would show respect is by saying something like, “ok I respect your boundaries, and I’m sorry that I went too far.” “Would you like to do something else?” Also you need to stick with what you say in order to show respect.  A way for a partner to show respect to you is by him or her listening to you when you are saying things are going too fast, and respecting the boundaries.

Another thing to keep in mind is that trust is an important element in a relationship. Trust is when you can count on someone to be there for you, and for someone to not cheat on you. Without trust the relationship falls apart, because you would have no confidence in that person. It can lead to things like your partner asking where you are all the time or frequent texting which can annoy you. When a partner is annoyed he or she might not be easy to get along with, and can make to relationship miserable.

Respect and trust are important, but can’t happen without good communication. Communication is one of the keys to have in a good relationship. Without healthy communication the relationship can fall apart. How do you know the boundaries unless you speak up? How do you know you can trust someone without talking to them about where you stand? If something wrong in the relationship, you or your partner need to speak up so both of you can solve the problem together.

There are many other things that are important in a relationship such as support and keeping separate identities.

If you have questions or want more information post a comment or go to this link.  

http://teenshealth.org/teen/your_mind/relationships/healthy_relationship.html

What do I do if I have unsafe sex or contraception fails?

While doing my internship at Central Health District, I had a friend ask me what you do if you have unsafe sex or contraception fails. Then I thought that other teens might have the same question. So, I wanted to address this in my blog.

There is this thing called emergency contraception. This is for when people have unsafe sex or their contraception fails. Emergency contraception works by preventing the fertilized ovum from attaching to the lining of the uterus. Also it prevents the sperm form fertilizing the egg or prevents or delays the egg from releasing from the ovaries. The emergency contraception should be taken as soon as possible afterwards. The sooner people get it the better it works. It’s 89% effective for up to five days. If you have miss one or more birth control pills, condom tears or comes off, or IUD comes out of place, it’s recommended that people take the emergency contraception. If you use no protection, and a pregnancy is not desired people need to take the emergency contraception. People can get emergency contraception at the Central Health District on a sliding fee scale or people can get them over the counter for $30-$60, if you are 18 years of age. Emergency contraception is meant for emergencies, and not to take place of birth control pills. There are many form of birth control more effective than emergency contraception. For more information on birth control, click on the birth control tab at Reveal4real.org.   

How can I get protection?

While interning at Central District Health, I have found out that people between the ages 15-24  were at higher risk of getting STDs, and having unplanned pregnancies than any other age group. The question came to mind, “are these people using protection?” When I talked to some of my friends I learned that there were a lot of barriers of to getting protection especially when there is no transportation, and being under the age of 18.

There are many rural areas in Idaho, and without transportation it can be a challenge to get protection. Even when people live in a city areas sometimes without transportation they can’t get to places, because stores are too far walk. The question comes up, “how do I get protection without transportation?” Here are a few ideas how to get protection when transportation is limited.

 They do sell condoms at most grocery stores or convenient stores, some may not sell to people under 18, but the majority of stores do sell condoms to teens. First, I would go to your nearest store that sells them. If you can’t get them there then go to the next nearest store. If your transportation is limited I would recommend buying the 12 or 10 pack condoms, so you won’t have to go back to the store each time you plan to have sex. The 10 or 12 pack cost about 13 to 16 dollars, without tax. If that doesn’t work find a trusted person that does have transportation to get you to the store to buy condoms. If you have no one to take you then go on to a trusted friend’s bus to ride home with them who live close to the store, and get them there. Another thing you can do is you can ask friend that are trusted to see if they have extra condoms. If money is an issue to getting condoms then you can go to your local Planned Parenthood or to the Central District Health and they will give you free condoms. Remember if you plan to be sexually active always use protection whether you are use hormonal contraceptives or not. The condoms can lessen your chance of getting STDs. Always use contraceptives when you are not ready to have a baby, because having a baby can bring challenges to you and your life.

STD Myths

There are a lot of myths my friends says about STDs. For example, they said that using two condoms at once protects you more than one condom. That is just not true. Many people probably are going around thinking these myths are true, and telling these myths to their friends. So, I thought it was important to address these issues.

1.       Using two condoms at once makes having sex safer. Not true, because the two condoms together will cause friction, and then they will tear.

2.     Having sex in the pool kills STDs and sperm. Unfortunately not true. Chlorine is not a disinfectant, and it does not kill STDs or sperm. Use a condom to prevent STDs and getting pregnant.

3.     People can avoid STDs by having anal or oral sex. You hope that‘s true, but it’s not. Chlamydia, Gonorrhea, Herpes, HIV, and Syphilis can survive in the mouth, anus, and the genital area.

4.    People can tell when their partner has a STD. Sorry to burst your bubble, but that’s not true. In fact, most  people with STDs have no symptoms. 

5.     People can only get an STD once. So not true. People can get STDs more than once, if you have HPV, HIV, Herpes, Gonorrhea or Chlamydia you can get infected with more of the same virus or bacteria, because you don’t build up any immunity.

6.    If I’m free of STDs, my partner doesn’t need to be tested. Not true. Your partner still needs to get checked for STDs, because he or she could have an STD, and can infect you with it.

7.     People can’t get STDs from skin to skin contact or by sharing sex toys. Not true at all. There are STDs that you can get from skin to skin contact and shared sex toys, like Herpes, Scabies, Trich, and Crabs. Scabies, and Crabs people can get them by sharing bedding or clothing.

8.    People don’t get STDs when using birth control. Never true. Hormonal contraceptives don’t prevent STDs.

Know your Status, get Tested

One day I was sitting in class, and a guest speaker was talking about STDs.  She was talking about getting tested, and how important getting tested was. I started to think why people should get tested. The guest speaker explained that people should get tested even if they don’t have symptoms, because most of the time STDs don’t show symptoms. Then I went in to deeper thought, and started to wonder how often people should get tested. The kids started to leave the class for break, and I didn’t get my question answered.  A few years after, I still wondered about it, and I wondered if people had the same question. So, I did my research, and found out how often people should be tested.

1.   People need to get tested when they change partners even if you were in a monogamous relationship.

2.  Whenever people decide to add another partner in their life while having sex with another one.

3.  Symptoms or not, people still need to get tested if sexually active.

4.   If you think if someone is cheating on you get tested.

5.  If you find out you have an STD it’s recommended that your partner or partners get tested, and treated.

Important to Keep in Mind

 There can be consequences for not getting tested, like embarrassment if you give an STD to your partner. Undetected infections can lead to infertility. To help avoid consequences you may way to talk to your partner about their sexual history. Ask them about if they ever got tested, and if they got tested what had they done since then.

Birth Control and Nutrition

As you may know this is nutrition mouth. I’ve never thought about when taking birth control that people can lessen the impact of side effects with good nutrition. I never knew that your nutrition can be a big part in preventing health issues such as medication side effects and stress. There may be some health concerns while taking hormonal contraceptives, and good nutrition can prevent some.

For example, when women take Depo-Provera they may to lose some bone density. Depo-Provera is a birth control shot. Women should increase their calcium intake when they are taking Depo-Provera, because it decreases the amount of calcium in your bones. People can find calcium in dairy products, and nuts and beans. Also, people can take a calcium supplement to prevent bone loss. Bone loss is not the only worry when taking hormonal contraception. When using a copper IUD (intra-uterine device) some woman may lose iron in their bodies. There is iron loss, because of increased blood loss during their period. Most women are monitored to see how much anemia. Women can find iron in meats, proteins, and grains.  Another thing to have concern for is weight gain while using hormonal contraceptives. All hormonal contraceptives do have progesterone in them, which can cause a bigger appetite, and that could lead to weight gain. The weight gain is not much it’s only 3-6lbs. Make sure you exercise, while using hormonal contraceptives. It’s important to talk to your doctor about hormonal contraceptives and nutrition, and see which one is right for you. 

Should Women Douche? No!!!!!!!

One day I was watching TV with a friend, and there was a Summer’s Eve commercial. He said that douching is important to keep clean. I told him that there was no reason to douche, and that the vagina cleans it’s self. My friend argued with me, saying that his mom told him that you were more likely to get STDs when women didn’t douche. While I was listening to my friend’s argument, I thought “why do women douche, and why women shouldn’t douche?”  So I decided to do some research and here is what I found.

History about Douching

                

1.   Originally douching was used as a birth control method, when birth control products were illegal.  However, current research dispels this idea.

2. Douching products were used to sell to women just so companies can make money, and to encourage women to clean the vagina, not for medical reasons.

3. Commercials used scare tactics to convince women to buy their product, such as your partner having no interest when your vaginal area was smelly.

 Reasons not to Douche

1.   There is no medical reason to douche.

2. More at risk to get Bacterial Vaginosis, which is a change in the Ph. Of the vagina. The cause of the change in Ph. is when abnormal bacteria outnumber the normal bacteria.  Symptoms of bacterial vaginosis include an increase in discharge that is usually white and thin.  It can create an odor that is described as fishy.  Sometimes it can cause lower pelvic pain.

3. Douching can cause bacteria to be pushed up to the uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries, which could cause pelvic inflammatory disease.

4. The vagina cleans its self by making mucous to clean out blood, discharge, and semen.

5. It’s a myth that douching prevents STDs after having sex, and can possibly increase your risk.

6. It’s a myth that douching after sex prevents pregnancy, and can increase your risk by forcing sperm, that may have stayed in the vagina, upwards into the uterus furthering their journey.

7.  A slight odor of the vagina is normal.

If you have questions, ask your doctor about douching or you can send us a question and a certified nurse practitioner will answer you personally.

   

Sexual Relationships

There are a lot of decisions that we make daily, and some have little effect and some have life changing effect. Some decisions require more thought than others. Having sex is a decision that requires some thought. Things to think about while deciding to have sex are…

               Are you comfortable having sex with your partner?

               Are you comfortable talking about sex health issues, like how many partners has your partner had in the past or present?

               What birth control methods are you going to use?

               Do you have any concerns about STDs?

If so, get you and your partner tested.

               Has your partner had screenings for STDs?

                              If so, for what STDs, and what they have done after or before the screenings?

               Do you have access to a testing place, and birth control?

               Are your emotions going to play into having sex?

                              If so, how would you feel breaking up after having sex?

               Can you trust your partner with your feelings, if your emotions are going to play into having sex?

               Are you still comfortable, and ready having sex after these questions?

Relationships are complex at times; this may not help you with all of your concerns. You can talk to your partner about having sex, or if you’re comfortable talk to a trust worthy adult or a counselor.

Hello

Hi, my name is Keri, and I’m a senior in high school at Meridian Medical Arts Charter High School. I’m going to college to study pre-med, and one day I plan to become an infectious disease doctor. While going to high school I will be an intern at Central District Health writing the Reveal for Real blog. I have an interest in reproductive health, and that is one of the reasons why I decided to intern at Central District Health.

This blog is a tool for teens and young adults to learn how to stay healthy, and to help make decisions on how to keep healthy. This is important for people to know about reproductive health, because it affects the health of others in the community and you. You may not being planning to have sex, but reproductive health is something to keep in mind for just in case. I strongly encourage you to ask questions and my comments on the blog.

Keri - R4R's Spring Intern

Hey friends,

Check out our new blog! We have a teen that will be blogging for us this semester while she interns with us! Coming up soon, an introduction to her!


Toni